A man and his wife were having an argument about whoshould brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

One of my friend sent me this hilarious image ................which explains it all!!


Thanks Narayan

Navarathri is one of the most important festivals for Hindus everywhere. It is a festival
which can be celebrated by anybody and everybody whatever their Kuladevata or
Ishtadevata, because all devatas are associated with a particular aspect of "shakthi"
(power) and the Goddess of worship during Navarathri is a sum total of all the
aspects of "shakthi". So observing this festival by worshipping "shakthi" pleases
all the devas and devathas. Everybody should observe this all nine days if
possible.. If this is not possible one should atleast observe this on the
9th and 10th days . The festival is called "sharannavarathra" because it is
observed for nine nights (navarathra), the first through 9th nights of Ashwin
month, bright fortnight in the sharat ritu (fall season) according to the lunar
calendar (september-october). Also the 10th day is celebrated as "Vijaya
Dashami", a day of victory or "Vidya dashami" a day of knowledge. Other names
for this festival are Durgotsava, Dashaha, Dasara, Dussehra; the last three names
referring to number 10.

How do we observe Navarathri?
The festival is observed in varieties of ways. One common way is to worship
"shakti" in the form of Durga for first 3 nights, Lakshmi for next 3, and
Saraswathi in the last 3 nights.

Another tradition is to worship Durga in 9 forms on nine nights,
namely, Yoganidra, Devajataa Durga, Mahishasura Mardini, Shailajaa
Durga, Dhumrahaa Durga, Chandamundahaa Durga, Raktabeejahaa Durga,
Nishumbhahaa Durga, and Shumbhahaa Durga. These nine forms correspond
to forms in which the demons such as Mahishasura, Raktabeeja, Shumbha,
Nishumba etc. were killed by Durga according to Devi Mahatyam.

Durga may also be worshipped in other forms, which include Balatripura
Sundari, Gayatri Devi, Annapoorna Devi, Maha Lakshmi, Lalita Tripura
Sundari, and Raja Rajeshwari.

This season, especially the 10th day is considered very favorable to
conduct Shubha Samskara karmas (good religious activities), which include
marriages, Naamakarana (naming ceremony), aksharabhyasa (initiate the
child to write). This is because there is the blessing of Durga (saannidhya)
during this season that removes all difficulties and problems. It is on this
day that Kings leave for their victory tour. It is also auspicious to do other
religious activities, which include prayer, meditation, chanting, nama sankeertana.

How is the Navarathri observance performed?
Generally the festival starts on the first day with Kalasha sthapana,
an altar for Durga with all decorations. Then for the next 9 days many
special events are performed which include reading of Devi Mahatyam, Durga
Saptashati, Ramayana as well as pooja of Durga, Lakshmi, Saraswathi,
Hayagreeva, Ubhaya Bharathi and Durga/Chandika havan. Ayudha Poojas
are also performed to tools including books, musical instruments, vehicles,
weapons, elephants, horses and trees. In some traditions, dolls are arranged
in an altar ('Kolu') and prayers are offered. Note that pooja to ishta/kula
devata is still performed every day and some or all of the above may
be chosen according to ones own tradition. Observing fast, one meal at
night are some other disciplines practiced during this time. In some homes
Kumari Pooja (pooja to girls between 2 and 10), Suvasini Pooja (pooja to
women whose husbands are alive) are also performed. In Kumari pooja,
nine young girls are chosen to represent nine forms of Durga namely
Kumari, Trimurthi, Kalyani, Rohini, Kali, Chandrika, Shambhavi, Durga, and
Bhadra. All these events conclude on the 10th day (Dashami).

On the concluding day a pooja is performed to a special tree called
"Shamee Tree". Shamee wood is used in homams/havans and represents
"Agni" (Fire) principle. Durga also is of "Agni Principle". So Pooja to it is
seeking the blessing of Durga. In the Mahabharata, the Pandavas hid their
weapons on a shamee tree during their one year Agnyathavaasa
(living incognito) and is thought to be through Durga's blessing that they were
protected. In Ramayana, Sri Rama before going to war with Ravana, prayed to
Shamee tree to receive victory blessings from Durga.

What is the significance of observing Navarathri?
In all the practices described above, one thing that stands out is the
pooja performed almost to everything, humans, animals, objects and
plants. All these are considered a form of the Supreme. This is to
say that creation, which includes 'I', is non-separate from the creator.
Knowledge of this is called self-knowledge or moksha and the goal of
this ritual is to remind us just that and help us attempt to achieve
moksha. This is a step-by-step process and as indicated above we
worship the Supreme ("Shakti") as Durga, Lakshmi, and Saraswathi in
that order for 3 days each. Durga destroys the demons in us, which
include delusion, anger, craving, arrogance, greed, and jealousy. Then
Lakshmi, the Goddess of wealth, blesses us the values into our lives,
which include divine love, kindness, devotion, patience, endurance,
charity, and non-injury. Now that the divine replaces the devilish
qualities, we become qualified to receive the self-knowledge through
philosophical study, contemplation and meditation. This is accomplished
with the blessings of Saraswathi, the Goddess of knowledge and is the
final stage in our spiritual evolution. The 10th day (Dashami) then is the
day of celebrating the victory (Vijaya), the achievement of the self-knowledge.

Mata Jagran:
Here is a story from the Devi Purana,

Jagran or jagrata is a tradition where Durga, holy mother, is invoked
by singing aloud, devotional songs to bless the gathering and this is
generally celebrated all night. A smaller version of this, called chaunki,
is celebrated less than full night, normally between 9 pm and 12 am.
It is believed that holy mother visits in the form of jyothi (lamp), which
is lit before the function starts. The discourse of the story of Maharani
Tara Devi is also customary in this function.

The story in brief is as below.
King Daksha had two daughters Tara Devi and Rukmini who where
devotees of Durga. They used to observe fast in every Ekadashi and
listen to kirtans in the Mata Jagran. On one Ekadashi night, the younger
Rukmini took a meat dish for offering, by mistake. Tara got angry and
cursed her to be born as lizard. Rukmini begged Tara to forgive her
and she said the sin is pardoned only by sacrifice and service.
In the next birth Tara was born as an Apsara (result of good actions)
and Rukmini as lizard (result of bad action). Rukmini, now lizard, was
looking for an opportunity for special service to someone. When the
Pandavas performed the Ashwamedha Yajna, they invited all the thity
three crores of Gods. Sage Durvasa turned down the invitation because
he did not want to be with the Gods. The Yajna was successfully performed
and preparations were being made for the feast. Durvasa, thinking he is
being neglected, got angry and decided to punish the Pandavas. He
disguised himself as a bird, carried a snake in the beak and dropped
it in the kheer. The lizard saw this and waited for an opportunity to save
the lives of the people who would eat there. When the kheer was about to
be served, she (lizard) herself jumped into the vessel of Kheer, before
everybody's eyes. The people were angry at the lizard and when the
vessel was emptied, they found a dead snake and recognized the sacrifice
of the lizard. They all prayed for that lizard, that it should attain human
form and attain salvation. Later on, in another birth, Tara was born as a
girl and married King Harischandra to become queen Taramati. Rukmini
was also born as a girl in a King's family but was thrown into a river in
a box because she was professed to be a bad omen to the King. A
sweeper who was childless picked up the box and was happy to see the girl.
The couple named her Rukko. Rukko got married and her mother-in-law was
working at the King Harishandra's palace. One day, Rukko went to work and
queen Taramati recognised her and told her all about their past. They both
again started going to Mata Jagran and performed Pooja for holy mother,
though some troubles came on the way, and eventually both went to heaven.
One who listens to this story of Tara Devi, after Mata Jagran, gets all his/her
wishes fulfilled.

Dear white fella; Couple of things you should know

When I was born , I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in sun, I black
When I cold, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

You white fella
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey
And you have nerve to call me... Coloured??